I had a weird dream on Thursday morning.
Now I have my fair share of unpleasant ones. Nightmares, if you will. These are usually in some hellish setting with your usual scenes of running, hiding, fighting or what-not. Trying to recollect exactly what happens is extremely hard as they fade off quickly within a day, compared to the happier ones. But hell pretty much sums it up, haha.
That one ended with me waking up. (Thankfully. Imagine never waking up in one of those sort of things.) It was almost 4AM, barely an hour after I had finished my duty shift and went to bed. The next dream I had is the one that unsettles me the most thus far. It pretty much ranks way up there in my list of “Things That Scar Me For Life”.
But seriously though. It started off pretty innocently and featured every single person in my life that mattered to me. Even the setting was as normal as can be, on our (dying) planet in our little city. That almost always predetermines that it would be a regular dream, sometimes a pleasant one if I’m lucky.
I won’t go into the details because I can’t remember them, but things just got messed up. Something was wrong and when I realized what it was, whatever it was, a feeling of emptiness vastly unimaginable filled me. For all the bad experiences in my life, what I felt then was incomparable. Suicidal depression was like taking a stroll through a kitten park.
Somehow or other it ended but that feeling lingered on. I pretty much just sat up on the bed for the remaining hours up until 6:30 doing nothing. It’s passed by now, whatever it was. All I remember is being scared, lonely and lost.
That dream has effectively taken top spot for worst nightmare. The previous holder was one I had back during my primary-school days, when I was living in Marine Parade. Basically I dreamt that I woke up. Then I woke up. And woke up. And woke up. And woke up etc. These aren’t anything unusual but then, it felt like it would never end. Easily surpassed ten waking cycles.
Well in any case, I got by that Thursday OK and by the time I was at the chalet, I was back to my usual self. I’m not sleeping in the guardroom anymore!
m-flo loves YOSHIKA
Beat Space Nine (2005)
I was playing around with light- shadow contrast and got a mixed bag of results.
And then the whole thing got cut short with some bad army news I shall not disclose here. Nobody was happy about it since we had to return to camp the next day. It turned out to be a waste of time as suspected as all we did was… nothing! And I had to miss my dental appointment which I can no longer reschedule because it’s full up until I ORD. Sigh.
Anyway, having a smaller BBQ-gathering with friends is much more fun than something this big. Also, I may have quit drinking but there was only beer there. Meh. Hopefully the next friends-only one would turn out to be better. Oh wait, it will!
(2) Not homosexual
(3) Nobody you dislike
I wonder how the film pictures turn out. Ah, the anticipation of waiting!